Hey all.
Just wanna share an experience that I went through when I was 13 and didn’t know any better.
I was in a bookshop in Penang–a pretty dark bookshop. My parents were off browsing somewhere and I wandered alone. Then, I saw this Indian man who persuaded me to come nearer, and look at some books. Trashy love novels. The moment I saw him, my instincts screamed at me to run away. I just dismissed them and the increasing bad feelings I had, coz they just didn’t make sense. (Not racist btw).
Turns out my instincts were right. He put his arm around my waist. I don’t know why I didn’t scream or kick his balls. I guess I was just confused–coz I always equated harassment with touching your boobs or private parts.
It was only after we left the bookshop that I told my parents. And it was too late then.
I remember wondering if what I wore contributed to what happened. Just a pink shirt and a denim skirt. Never wore that skirt again after that.
This made me realize that we really should teach kids about sexual harassment and no-no touching. It’s never too early to start teaching them.
Rhysenn Kat
Right with you on kids needing to be educated on sexual harassment. I remember as an eight-year-old living in Australia being followed around a bookshop by a man who promptly unzipped his pants everytime I came to a stop. I also remember feeling no need to tell my parents or anyone else about the man flashing me. Not until I casually mentioned it to my Dad a few hours later; the outrage on his face told me instantly that it was definitely a big deal.
Sexual harassment is really not about what you wear; I was a kid, it’d be ridiculous to say I somehow asked for it. I think filing sexual harassment under the whole “boys will be boys” line is as much an insult to the male gender as it is an excuse for behaviour that should not be tolerated.
Comment by Dahlia — March 6, 2006 @ 12:17 pm
I’m very sorry about what you had to go through. I suffered the same indignity in the bus once, when a man harassed me. I quickly got off at the next stop, despising myself and wishing that I’d done something more.
However, I’m very disappointed that we still cannot forget the race / ethnicity frame of reference. What does it matter whether the man was Indian / Malay / Chinese / Caucasion / African? Unfortunately, our country, with its segregated policies, have done much damage to our minds in the sense that we still see the need to look at things from an ethnic / racial point of view.
Comment by Sasha — March 8, 2006 @ 5:05 am