November 24, 2006
Hey all, This is a letter I wrote to the Star that got published, in response to a letter which really ticked me off. Read her letter and judge for yourself.
Stop blaming it on rape victims
I AM writing in response to Sylvia Hsu-Chen Yip’s "Sexy dressing can be provocative" (The Star, Nov16). Her statement that rape victims who dress provocatively "asked for it" is an insensitive and outdated stereotype of why men rape.
Since the 70s, rape is no longer explained as a sexually motivated crime. Instead, rape is now generally accepted as an act of violence for men to gain power over women. However, current research indicates that rape is far too complex to be oversimplified either as an act of sex or an act of power.
Thus, until we have further proof, we should not inflict even more trauma on the rape victim by condemning her as the cause of the rape. Why is it that when a sexual crime is committed, attention is always paid first to the victim, not to the perpetrator?
Many do not excuse the wrongfulness of a man committing sexual crimes. Yet, the fact that the victim is scrutinised more than the perpetrator already puts the onus of the crime upon the victim. Rather than the perpetrator being judged, the victim is on trial instead.
Is this fair, considering the fact that we do not have concrete evidence regarding the role of a woman’s dress in sexual crimes? Why do we condemn a murderer so quickly, but yet ignore a rapist?
A further complication with blaming a woman’s "provocative" dressing for a rape is the definition of "provocative dressing" itself. What one man may consider provocative may not be considered so to another. Who then defines what provocative dressing is and what is not?
Instead of getting tangled up in such problems, perhaps we should focus our attention where it is due: the rapist. No matter how "tempted" he was, that does not excuse him from scarring a woman for life.
Stop blaming the victim. Without a perpetrator, there is no crime.
RK Boo, Kuala Lumpur.
November 23, 2006
Subject: Human Rights Essay Writing Competition
Warm greetings!
The Human Rights Committee of the Bar Council is happy to announce that it
will be holding a Human Rights essay-writing competition on the topic "Death
Penalty: Yes or No?"
The competition is open to all Malaysian who fall into any of the following
categories:
§ Undergraduates studying in a local public or private University/College
§ Persons enrolled in the CLP Program
§ Persons doing their chambering
The essay can be in either English or Malay but should not exceed 3,500
words in length. All entries should reach the Bar Council Secretariat by
31st January 2007.
Winners stand to win attractive cash prizes and a trophy.
Those who wish to participate should contact Mohd. Rezib at 03-20316367 or
rezib@malaysianbar.org.my to obtain a registration form and a reference
number.
May 7, 2006
Want to start a little discussion here.
I was at a talk the other day - one which I personally thought later on was really a male-apologist session. We listened to males complaints about females in relationships and were told males are really "more logical" and females "more emotional". Although the speaker went on to say, "it’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way we are", the context of the entire discussion certainly made me feel like being "emotional" was a bad thing.
But anyway, what really irked me was when the speaker started talking about having multiple partners - it’s not an equal world, she said, and promiscuous guys will be excused moe than promiscuous girls. Fair enough, I thought - my past experience had certainly told me it was not an equal world. But then the speaker went on to blast promiscuous girls - "I think girls like that really have no respect for their bodies." I could see some members of both sexes silently nodding, and I was wondering: what about guys who sleep around? Don’t they also not respect themselves?
The fact that guys were left out of that equation reinforces the double standard. Plus, I know quite a few girls who have multiple partners, and they’re very sassy ladies. They’re smart, and I respect them for the contributions they make to the world. If they choose to celebrate their sexuality by having multiple partners, why should we condemn them as not having respect for themselves?
To the floor now: what do YOU think?
That little dude who toots his car horn at you. What do you do?
April 1, 2006
I was forced to strip in lock-up: 60-year-old housewife claims
B.Suresh Ram and Llew-Ann Phang
KUALA LUMPUR: A 60-year-old housewife has alleged that she was forced
to strip in a police station and walk around in circles three times in
front of two policewomen.
Lim Nee Cheng Pik Wai also alleged that the policewomen helped
themselves to some money in her handbag when she was in custody on
March 11.
"I have never felt so humiliated in my life … walking in the nude
with the policewomen laughing at me," she said in a media conference
held in Parliament House on March 30.
Lim’s ordeal began when she was taken to the police station after she
was detained by department store security guards over a
misunderstanding which has been settled amicably with the store
management on March 28.
In her police report lodged on March 29, Lim claimed she was
instructed to take out all her cash from her handbag and place them on
the table.
"Initially, one of the policewomen placed all the cash and coins into
a plastic bag. While counting the money, I saw her taking out several
notes and putting them in a drawer.
"She told me that it was her bribe money (duit rasuah). She said ‘bei
ngo yam cha’ (Cantonese for ‘give me tea money’).
"She also asked for my bank ATM card PIN number but I refused. She
said if I did not give the number, I would be made to do squats …
that’s when I was ordered to remove my jewellery and get into a
lock-up where I was told to strip."
Lim said her husband turned up at the station at 8pm to bail her out.
Her husband then asked the policewoman to return all the money but it
was short of RM209 (total RM469).
"The policewoman then said a police report would be made against him
(Lim’s husband)," she added.
MP Teresa Kok (DAP-Seputeh), who arranged for the press conference,
said: "I am quite perturbed by the strip procedures, despite
assurances from senior police officers that new guidelines had been
issued as the IGP’s Standing Order."
"With new body search guidelines, why is such abuse still happening?" she asked.
Kuala Lumpur deputy CPO SAC (I) Datuk Ahmad Baharin Idrus confirmed a
police report was lodged with the Dang Wangi police station.
"Investigations are in progress. So I will not be able to make any
comments on the matter," he said.
On March 3, IGP Tan Sri Bakri Omar announced police had produced their
own rules on conducting body searches "to protect the dignity and
pride" of suspects.
The IGP’s Standing Order on Code of Practices for Body Searches
requires the suspect to be practically attired during searches instead
of "partially dressed" as suggested by the Royal Commission on the
Police Force..
The order excluded recommendations that intimate searches could only
be done by a doctor or hospital assistant or registered nurse, acting
under the direction of a doctor and a requirement to obtain warrants
to conduct intimate searches.
Bakri confirmed that the document, which is being fine-tuned, would
contain guidelines for body searches and would take about three months
to be adopted.
Now everytime I see a cop, I grab my left earlobe with my right hand and my right earlobe with my left hand; I’ll keep doing it until abuse and corruption in the police force is wiped out.
March 30, 2006
By Chien Wee Yoon
PETALING JAYA- A team of five female students from different colleges has set up a blog named S.A.S.H. It stands for Students Against Sexual Harassment to encourage students to speak out against sexual harassment.
One of The Founder of the SASH blog, Dahlia Martin spoke to The Break during their blog launch at Monash University on 8th of March.
Due to the many cases of sexual harassment happening around school areas, Dahlia said the initial idea of the SASH blog is to show students how directly sexual harassment relates to their life.
"Sexual harassment affects people of all ages and what can we do to educate people more? We need people to be more aware about gender inequality." she said.
As there are many people experiencing sexual harassment and gender discrimination, SASH blog was established for people to discuss about women and gender issues.
Dahlia told The Break there are a lot of support services in the community to help victims against sexual harassment, but the options are limited.
Though there are codes of conduct in some companies that enable employees to take action for security purposes, there is a lack of laws pertaining to sexual harassment in Malaysia.
The SASH blog team believes society can act collectively to end sexual harassment by the most obvious thing: to end gender discrimination.
"We won’t have such thing as grouping gender roles anymore, if people generally respect each other regardless of gender", said Dahlia.
The administrator of SASH blog, Rachel Ng Koon Ling said the SASH blog function is to create a catalyst for students to help each in stopping sexual harassment.
They believe that most of the time it occurs in the workplace.
Rachel added that sexually harassed victims will feel psychological and physical trauma, and this will handicap them from doing anything including being friendly with other people.
The SASH blog team advises females that sexual harassment is not the victim’s fault.
They should feel free to ask for advice from support centers or click in to their site to obtain more information about the issue.
"If everyone put one step forward to bring up this unspoken topic and bring the issue into the open, people would tend to be more aware and cautious about sexual harassment", said Rachel.
The SASH blog team welcome readers to speak out against sexual harassment and their posts in the blog will be free from censorship.
For people who are interested to write to the SASH blog, their email is at my.sash@gmail.com and their website can be accessed at: http://sash.blogsome.com.
-Published in The Break, 27 March 2006, (Taylor’s College Petaling Jaya, students monthly laboratory newspaper)
March 15, 2006
We need a Title IX in Malaysia…!
I think one of the worst things people can do for the male gender is make excuses for them. I remember, after having my butt grabbed in a museum when I was 14 or 15, listening to a male cousin remark: "You should be flattered someone would want to grab your butt." I issued another of my passionate arguments, and he appeared to have been won over (although he might have decided it wasn’t worth pursuing).
The attitude of resignation which so many seem to have adopted irks me, because I think it’s another method of excusing, as if to say: "It happens, live with it, try to look on the bright side". For instance, I was talking to a male friend the other day when he shared the story of how, when he was walking back from dinner with a female friend, some four or five mechanics working until late whistled at the female friend, called out to her and tooted their horns. He also revealed that while his friend tried to ignore the cat calls, he found it extremely funny and was laughing the entire time.
But then again, speaking out only seems to ask for trouble, doesn’t it? (Or at least that’s what so many of us are led to believe). Darren Kang was apparently beaten to death after confronting a bunch of youths who were said to have made degrading remarks about his girlfriend (there are, however, numerous versions of the story). A friend who was regarded as the ’slut’ in her school told me how, in the days after Kang’s murder, a teacher warned her not to bother fighting back the label: "You’ll just be asking for trouble, like Darren Kang." With attitudes like that influencing people, it should be no surprise then that Kang’s killers only got five years in jail; the judge admitted he had taken Kang’s behaviour into account when deciding the sentence.
"Don’t bother, it’s a small thing", "too much trouble for nothing big", and the classic "boys will be boys" line. Are we ever going to run out of excuses for this sense of entitlement we allow? It doesn’t surprise me that sexual harassment exists, since the dominant ideology seems to be "it’s a guy thing."
Dahlia
For International Women’s Day on 8 March, Rachel helped Dahlia set up a graffiti board for Monash University Malaysia students to write their thoughts relating to gender issues on. SASH also launched their website today, to a positive response. Below are pictures from the day.
March 7, 2006
What constitutes sexual harassment? It differs from one individual to another. Nonetheless, any of the following unsolicited behaviour is commonly considered sexual harassment:
- leering
- wolf whistles
- discussion of one’s partner’s sexual inadequacies
- sexual innuendo
- comments about someone’s body
- ‘accidentally’ brushing sexual parts of the body
- lewd & threatening letters
- tales of sexual exploitation
- graphic descriptions of pornography
- pressure for dates
- sexually explicit gestures
- unwelcome touching and hugging
- sexual sneak attacks, (e.g., grabbing breasts or buttocks )
- sexist and insulting graffiti
- inappropriate invitations (e.g., hot tub)
- sexist jokes and cartoons
- hostile put-downs of the either gender
- public humiliation
- obscene phone calls
- inappropriate gifts (ex. lingerie)
- hooting, sucking, lip-smacking, & animal noises
- pressing or rubbing up against the victim
- sexual assault
- soliciting sexual services
- stalking
- leaning over , invading a person’s space
- indecent exposure
More guidelines:
Sexual Harassment vs Flirting
| feels bad |
|
feels good |
| one-sided |
|
reciprocal |
| feels unattractive |
|
feels attractive |
| is degrading |
|
is a compliment |
| feels powerless |
|
in control |
| power-based |
|
equality |
| negative touching |
|
positive touching |
| unwanted |
|
wanted |
| illegal |
|
legal |
| invading |
|
open |
| demeaning |
|
flattering |
| sad/angry |
|
happy |
| negative self-esteem |
|
positive self-esteem |
From http://www.feminist.org/911/harasswhatdo.html
More often than not, when we speak of sexual harassment, we instantly form a mental picture of the harasser as a male figure. What happens if a girl sexually harasses a guy instead?
An incident which happened 2 years ago during National Service:
A guy was leaning against the wall and all of a sudden, a girl walked past him, deliberately brushing her hand against his penis. The guy was shocked; no, horrified. He didn’t do anything about it at the time as he thought no one would believe that he felt violated.
Sexual harassment is an exploitation of power. It can happen to anyone regardless of gender, race, creed or social standing. There are many who keep silent for fear of being labelled prudish, egotistical or even a freak. Know that you are not alone. Don’t be afraid to speak up against it. You have the right to a life free of gender discrimination. Exercise your right. Speak up.
Yee Mun
March 6, 2006
SASH will be launching its website at the foyer in Monash University Malaysia on International Women’s Day (8th March) at 12pm.
A short film on the different types of sexual harassment starring Monash students will be screened at the launch, and information on sexual harassment in schools/colleges/universities will be available. Plus, Rachel has set up a graffiti board for students to record their thoughts on gender issues.
You can email Dahlia or Rachel for more details.
March 4, 2006
Hey all.
Just wanna share an experience that I went through when I was 13 and didn’t know any better.
I was in a bookshop in Penang–a pretty dark bookshop. My parents were off browsing somewhere and I wandered alone. Then, I saw this Indian man who persuaded me to come nearer, and look at some books. Trashy love novels. The moment I saw him, my instincts screamed at me to run away. I just dismissed them and the increasing bad feelings I had, coz they just didn’t make sense. (Not racist btw).
Turns out my instincts were right. He put his arm around my waist. I don’t know why I didn’t scream or kick his balls. I guess I was just confused–coz I always equated harassment with touching your boobs or private parts.
It was only after we left the bookshop that I told my parents. And it was too late then.
I remember wondering if what I wore contributed to what happened. Just a pink shirt and a denim skirt. Never wore that skirt again after that.
This made me realize that we really should teach kids about sexual harassment and no-no touching. It’s never too early to start teaching them.
Rhysenn Kat
Before launching in, Iwould like to define SEXUAL HARASSMENT as An act of discrimination against either gender in regards to sexual matters in gestures, expressions, verbal insults and sexual innuendos which result in discomfort, trauma and dissatisfaction to the intended victim.
From this, you can see our stance of Sexual Harassment covers a whole range of activities….it could be catcalls, pinching asses, a "gatal-hamsap" look, discussing sexual jokes or just plain staring at a person!! In fact, it is very difficult to define this word in a social context.
i’ve realised that a lot of sexual harassment borders on a thin fine line where flirting stands on one side, whilst the other side is harassment. We often don’t realise that our actions have become a harassment because over the years, our society has made this fine line grey, making it even more difficult for us to differentiate and distinguish the difference.
However, the effect, the trauma and the handicap that is imposed on an unsuspecting victim knows no bounds. I reckon most of you reading this would be writing me off as some fanatic victim who has experienced deep trauma due to being harassed. In fact, I have not and I hope I will not be inflicted this pain. But, I’ve definitely seen many people out there who have been affected….I’m not just speaking about depressed people who walk the street with their heads hung low with shame. In fact, a lot of this people are your freinds around you. Ask ANYONE on the street and they can vouch that they’ve been victimised and adulterated in this manner.
From looking at people around us, we don’t realise how much pain, regret, shame and dissatisfaction that goes around us!!! In fact, we as a group decided to start this blog as a voice for the many of you who’ve been inflicted, shamed or embarassed to speak about this social problem. In fact, IT IS a very difficult topic to bring up amongst friends because we can easily be labelled as being "overly-sensitive" but the fact remains, sexual harassment will continue to be the norm of our society so long as we do not speak out against it.
I do hope that this blog will be a catalyst for change in our generation, where social ills will be nipped at the bud, especially whilst we are all in school. Speak out! Come forth!
rachel
February 28, 2006
Sexual stereotyping is a form of sexual harassment whereby people label or treat you based on your perceived sexuality. For example, calling a girl a "slut" is a form of sexual stereotyping, and hence sexual harassment. SLUT! by Leora Tanenbaum is an excellent account of what constitutes and what the repercussions are of sexual stereotyping.
Stories from ’sluts’ are interwoven with a narrative on how a slut represents soiled femininity; that is, she didn’t fit in with the gender role that was assigned to her. She also explains why sexual stereotyping can never be justified in any situation, and also explains how it can foster a "culture of entitlement" among males, thus also affecting the male gender.
A good book to read on the issue.
